Again the idea of “self-talk”. What we say to ourselves has such power - for good or ill. In this discussion project we shared some of the ways our self-talk has been negative. One of the big take-aways for me was a comment made by a table mate - “Don’t compare the inside of you with the outside of someone else”. Wow!, did that hit home for me. I shared a number of instances in my life where I did that comparison and, interestingly enough, when I really got to know the other person I discovered that they were as human as me.
In my coaching experiences I often find seasoned professionals, successful people, who have what is often called the “imposter” feeling. They are in the middle of a meeting or a conversation with others and all of a sudden think of themselves as an imposter in their role. I confess this has happened to me many times in my career and that I am often surprised when I get feedback from others that positions me as an expert or a mentor. Why is that? Again, the habits we develop with our self-talk.
Question 7 in the discussion: “They say a good deal of our thinking about ourselves and our abilities is negative. How do you feel about this? How would it apply to you? How would AiA affect this?”
The facilitator is prompted to move the discussion to Question 11 when 2 minutes remain in order to highlight an AiA concept. “How can you use affirmations to build your self-confidence”.
So perhaps those two discussion questions highlight the key take-away from this project on Developing Self-Confidence - be aware of what you are saying to yourself and, if you find it negative, if it is hurting self-confidence, be prepared with an affirmation to counter it. In my case, “”I am an expert in my field and bring value to the clients I serve.”
And this brings me to another take-away from this project - develop expertise. Although much of the discussion centered on the way our negative thoughts destroy self-confidence, the power of affirmations to counter those is greatly increased if we take the time to truly become expert in something. Just knowing that you have a skill or knowledge that has taken years to develop can make the use of your affirmation more effective; because it is true!